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#75148
whisperingwings
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I have difficulty waking up in the morning for as long as I can remember. I tend to be a very angry, negative and depressed person in the morning.I feel like a zombie and as if I’m not really there. Sometimes I don’t remember what I did. Things that happened in the morning or afternoon can be cloudy in my memory. Seriously, I don’t know how I manage to go out, not get hit by a car, finished school and college and then keep a job for almost 4 years since my brain is not fully awake the whole time. I feel better later in the day but I don’t feel full alertness until 2 or 3am. To understand this, I went to a neurologist a few years ago. He told me to wear a actigraphy watch that monitors my sleep patterns and circadian rhythm for about a month and I kept a sleep log. When I went back to him, he extract the data and told me I have delayed sleep phase disorder. My biological clock doesn’t follow the typical 9-5, it is delayed when compared to the typical schedule. Even if I wake up early and keep myself physically and mentally busy, I cannot fall asleep at night until close to the morning. I tried many times to not sleep for over 24 hours and thought “I will fall asleep quickly tonight” but I cannot. This experiment never worked. I cannot shut off my brain at night even if I continue without sleep for over 24 hours but my brain does naturally get sleepy during morning hours. Melotonin did not work for me. Since I have to go to work now, I take sonata and valerian root to force my brain to go to sleep no later than 3am on weekdays. My brain is very stubborn so it’s not always effective. I accepted my biological clock and I don’t force it so much to follow 9-5 as I used to. There is negative to not following the typical schedule but the positive part is I am very creative at night. I’m an artist and poet so night time is beneficial to us since we can really concentrate without sounds and other stimulus from the environment.