I think I can relate to your feelings
this is what helped me
I believe God created this great universe and everything in it. from the large planets to the tinest particles.
So I leave my affairs to Him. I do the things that I’m capable of and the rest I depend on Him because He runs this life And whatever He says goes
Reading the Quran takes those clouds away from my heart and when I pray my five daily prayers I tell God about my feelings and what’s bothering me that day and I go on doing my best to please Him because He will and has always been there for me and He is and will for you too if you just ask. He loves you and He is waiting for you.