I feel I can relate to your story very well.
My movements is always slow even if I do my best.
It makes people think I am unmotivated.
This gave me feeling of stress and incompetent.
Last year I switched with my wife and now she started working full time while I try to start my own farm.
I do so my best at home but never can reach even small amount of the quality my wife delivered at home.
Now she is stressed about me and thinks I am uninterested and selfish. She knows about my ADHD and Asperge but still gets disappointed and angry at me.
I regret getting close to other humans.
As a cargo-train driver I was working alone and living alone. Living between my work and my virtual gaming world I was atleast not a bother to other people.
At this moment I can’t give advice because I myself feel also down. But I continue to think about the song “my way- frank senatra” because I done it my way. Even if people don’t think I done something good