A chameleon changes the color of its skin to hide from predators. A mask can be worn in jest, to hide one’s true intentions, or to hide from a predator. The person wearing the mask can also be a predator.
When I question, who I am, I need to define the words I am choosing to describe my experience. Once I do this, I notice a power struggle frames the situation. If I look closely at the power dynamic, I see myself more clearly in that dynamic. These are a few strategies I use to learn about who I am. I hope you find them useful in your quest.
“I have to see myself in a different light” This sounds like a solution that you acted upon when you had to resolve your conflict with the specialist. “I had to learn not to become like him” Awesome! You mention a jigsaw puzzle and fragments. Based on what you have shared, you are working on it. The hard work will pay off.