Reply To: I need to know who I am

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#74246
amashtamuu
Participant

I have tried for years to conform to many different styles of personalities, I have reinvented myself so many times I cannot count, now I just want to be accepted for who I am. The biggest obstacle I have is the arena in my head of voices that keep telling me I need to change every time someone walks in the room. No amount of meds can convince me I’m the best person for the role in my life if I won’t cast myself for the part! Somehow I have to see myself in a different light, and that’s where I get so discouraged! No matter how much I want to and need to change, the patterns of ADHD are there. My doctor ran some kind of blood test, she said just to check for some extra genetic component of ADHD and it was there! It made me feel kind of…well extra ADHD! I go to a specialist for a different problem who doesn’t even believe in ADHD and fights me over my meds, I had to learn not to become like him when he showed up. And therein lies the problem! I have standards! I have beliefs! I need to be me at all times…when I find out who that really is. There are little pieces of me, fragments, all over the place, inside my mind like a jigsaw puzzle. It’s exhausting! So? Who am I? How do I find me? I am a true chameleon