First, you must recognize that things are never “nice and rosey” for anyone — even neurotypicals have their struggles. Second, stop equating struggle with something being wrong or broken with you. You are simply different, not deficient.
It would be very helpful if you could find a job that plays more to your strengths or interests, and depends less on areas of weakness and that you find less tedious. The ADHD brain will always perform better in tasks and environments that are of interest to you. I’m not suggesting there’s a job out there where you’ll be 110% happy every moment, only that there is likely a much better fit for you.
Can you work on art and poetry as a freelancer on the side right now? You could potentially build up enough freelance and commission work to one day no longer need the traditional job to sustain you. With sites like Etsy and Redbubble, there are great opportunities for freelancers.
It also sounds like you should contemplate your marriage more, possibly. It’s damaging to accept a relationship that makes you feel bad. Would he go to couples counseling maybe?
ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism