I’m so sorry about what you’re going through and feeling. I know there’s nothing I can really say that will change anything, but please just keep trying and holding on. Sometimes we have to make hard choices and it sounds like you have a few of those coming up, but I hope you will do what’s right for you. Please don’t give up.
I stumbled across this while google searching how to fix my life lol so I can empathize with you on a lot of things you said here. Especially that part about you not thinking you’re a bad person but people making you feel like you’re a bad person… and feeling like your efforts aren’t being recognized or appreciated. It’s like some people don’t truly understand how hard everything is. Everything is so hard.
I truly am sorry for what you’re having to go through. Things can get bad and change is hard but you just have to keep determined to achieve your goals.
Also, please don’t be weirded out by this, but I made this account just to reply to this message. Sorry. I don’t know why I’m posting this.