What i am trying to say is that virtually everyone of the authors of these books will tell you that surprisingly enough normal reactions to some of these issues will make things much worse.
That you are feeling hurt is a normal reaction to living with an ADHDer
We smother a new relationship with attention as you say it until the Honeymoon Stage is over but then its as if someone threw a switch and you might feel as if you dont exist. Our focus can not handle multiple relationships well and we might now be focussed on work and appear to totally ignore the needs of someone close to us. These issues need lots of work and it is not very easy if one or both of you feel hurt*. I wiil add one more comment, the name of a book that deals primarily with relationship mending. (After i glance through the many that i can no longer remember the name of)
I have to in honesty admit I didnt know about my ADHD until after my third wife of 8 years left.But i recognized many of the issues reported in these books.
*At the same time we are often hurt because anything you say that is critical may be felt as rejection. walking on eggshells may be a feeling you are probably very familiar with.