Honestly, when I was reading your original post I thought to myself, “Did I write this and just forget that I did??” because, other than seeing the psychologist about it (which I haven’t done yet), your ADHD experience sounds pretty much the same as what I’m pretty certain is my ADHD.
I’m a 23 year old recent university graduate and only a little over a year ago began to consider that what I was experiencing was ADHD. I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and biopolar disorder. I’ve absolutely have been struggling with depression and anxiety for years (high school and college) and have been taking medication since high school senior year. I was diagnosed with bipolar maybe about two years ago and have been taking that medication since, but I’m just not sure it feels right. Because of university I had a hard time telling if medication was ever working or not. I also have taken anxiety medication.
Anyway, after doing a lot of research, I’m pretty certain I have ADHD. I have all the symptoms you talked about and a variety of other ones. I space out when talking to people, my working memory is terrible, I forget a lot even when I’m in the middle of a sentence. I get bored with everything I do and can’t figure out how to get anything done. I have hyperacusis which has been a living hell for my entire life. I need stimulation constantly and can’t sit still in my chair. I have always been a slow reader because I can’t retain what I read and I have to read sentences over and over again. I am constantly overwhelmed and can’t stop thinking about everything all the time. I can’t organize my thoughts or my desk, and I’m always jumping from one thing to another without finishing.
Unfortunately, the list goes on, and I honestly just can’t take it anymore. I need to do something about this because I feel like my life is being ruined because I can’t function as an adult should. I’m convinced this goes beyond depression (which I probably still have a bit of, but it’s been better since I’m out of school) because I do have lots of ambitions, I just can’t find the drive to get them started (and even if somehow I do get started, I can’t follow through). I feel lazy and unmotivated, but I am now convinced that it’s because of ADHD, and I’m just really tired of feeling so stupid and incapable. I can’t stop thinking about how the simplest things that are so easy for people so hard for me.
I was actually tested in high school for my poor reading skills. It was an expensive test but it helped me get accommodations in school. I think it was just diagnosed as a working memory learning disability. I never thought it could be ADHD because I was always under the impression that that was only for young boys, as I feel media has portrayed it to be. And I guess it could be a learning disability, right? But because of all the other symptoms as well, I am led to ADHD. But of course, I’m no doctor.
After dwelling on this for over a year (I unfortunately was unaware of the resources at my university, and regret it so much) I have finally made an appointment with a new GP and I am hoping she will be able to help me and/or refer me to a psychiatrist. I plan to take the papers for the test I took years ago and the thousands of words I’ve written of my experiences and examples I’ve compiled over the past year. I hope this will be enough, or at least close to enough, to getting a diagnoses and medication.
Thank you for this thread and sharing your experience. I’m so glad to have found ADDitude and to learn that I am not alone. I hope that I will be able to find help and I hope that everything works out for anyone in these posts working towards finding a diagnoses.
- This reply was modified 3 years, 5 months ago by lisaktsn.