I’m so sorry you, and everyone else on this post, are dealing with this. I am a Psychologist and ADHD Coach who specializes in ADHD. My husband has ADHD, which is the only reason I’ve come to understand what ADHD actually is, and why we, in mental health, are so bad at diagnosing it. I learned in graduate school, within the last 15 years, that if you do well in school, you don’t have ADHD. I had to be married to someone with ADHD to realize I was taught incorrectly…. So if I didn’t know, a Doctor in Psychology, how is anyone else supposed to know? At least, that’s what I keep telling myself when I meet with patient after patient who has the same story as you do. Hopefully it helps to know that you’re definitely not alone, and that there are providers out there that get it.
You do sound like you have ADHD. If you’d like to message me privately, I’d be happy to refer you to someone in your area to diagnose you properly. I’d also be willing to speak with you over Skype or FaceTime (or another online platform), and possibly help you get the things you need to start treatment. If you’ve already found someone, then that’s great!! If not, I’m happy to do what I can to help you.
Good luck to you, and to everyone else on this post!! ADHD is a beast, and if you’ve found your own personal system that helps you succeed, then you’ve done an amazing job! If you’re still searching, then don’t give up!! Help is out there – the right system/medication, etc is out there – just keep trying!!