Yes, I can relate when I was a child it was very hard for my folks to decipher whether I was just being plain bratty or ADHD or a combination of both. It doesn’t bother me too much about talking with people about ADHD. I like to have people know where I stand and if I am not doing something right, they know. Also, if someone has it or a child or individual they know has it, talking with someone who knows first hand having it, those people are grateful that there others out there that they can reach out too. But what is really hurtful is one, knowing it’s affects on others and two that it is thrown back in one’s face. The ADHD is a personal thing that I at least struggle with everyday. So for someone close to you who doesn’t give you points for effort or is very critical of something you are not doing right, etc., basically throwing it in your face. They knew, because the individuals talked about it, so for them to do that to someone who has the ADHD I feel is pretty mean and really does not love someone to do that. I am sure anyone of us who has ADHD, would rather not have ADHD. If we could put a band aid or rip it out, but unfortunately this a part of the body that controls the rest of the body and in a not so easy part of the body to get to. As far as the in-laws sharing anything, it might be hard for them, because there is a lot of research and exposure about ADHD certainly since I was a kid in the 70’s so it might be too that they are not super educated on the subject. But it would be interesting to see how someone was as a child struggling with the ADHD.
Sounds you are on the right path. Work together, be patient and even a little empathetic, learn what works for each of you individually and as a couple. I wish I could have had another chance with my now ex-husband. You will be fine. Best of luck.