I had the same experience as Pump2Duncan – thought I didn’t need to worry about parental controls and learned that I very much did by being shocked at what my son was looking at on his phone and tablet.
A couple months ago we installed http://www.mobicip.com/ on his phone and iPad, in addition to setting the apple user restrictions. If you delete all browsers and don’t allow installing new apps, it makes a monumental difference. Of course, the password has to be something wild that they’d never figure out.
While I agree that consequences are often in order for breaking the rules, consequences rarely change the behavior when it comes to kids with ADHD. Instead, we need to teach internet safety. Of course, that’s easier said than done, especially when you have a teen with a developmental delay that keeps them immature for their age.
I would sit down and write up a contract: If she follows rules, X, Y, and Z, then you will provide her phone. When those rules are broken, you don’t provide her a phone. And, be sure not to use the phrase “catch you,” because our kids are literal. “You cannot do it,” not, “I better not catch you doing it.” 😉
ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism