I am a 35 years old woman almost walking in the same shoes you are. It feels good not to be alone. Since I decided to finally go for a diagnosis last year , it’s been hell!
My doctor referred me to a psychologist who obviously knew nothing about ADHD, was stuck on depression and anxiety. Luckily I was also seeing a psychotherapist who would balance out those visit I has with the psychologist and left me energized versus demoralized. Plus she knew right away my down based on circumstances and not clinically depressed.
Where I live, the doctor needs to make a diagnostic so I paid $500 as he wanted the psychologist’s opinion. We had a joint visit after he prescribed an antidepressant I elected not to take due to horrible side effects with the first dose. He completely ignored what I had to say and said if a roof is leaking, you can put a bucket and collect the water or plug the leak. That I had anxiety and that’s that. Anxiety can cause ADHD-like symptoms. The psychologist tried to put a word in, he cut her off and said: “I don’t wanna hear anything about ADHD, you will take the antidepressant for at least 1 year and that’s all.” Well, that was all for him.
Since I began what I refer to as a journey, I’ve been even “diagnosed” bipolar by my uncle who went from ADHD to bipolar based on a few short conversations. Lithium made my life as a living hell rather than improve it. He wasn’t listening either. My outburst were anxiety and my spending is impulsive.
I changed family doctor and now my anxiety (PTSD) is under control but my ADHD is OUT of control! Turns out my coping mechanism depended on anxiety. I have an appointment tomorrow and hoping to get the diagnostic and a plan to start on some kind of meditation. The team of doctors and pharmacist I have seen so far, listen without judging and truly want to help. Health professionals may mean to do good, but ADHD is a different and complicated beast, especially if you have a comorbidity. I know paying for tests may be expensive but your mental health is priceless.
My last advices are not to give up even when it’s hard and to find another psychologist who does not invalidate you; it will do wonders.
Best of luck to you, Caroline.