All you can do is keep trying new clinicians or get the evaluation done for an official diagnosis. You might have better luck seeing a psychiatrist than a psychologist — they may be more willing to make the diagnosis without extensive testing since they are more educated/experienced.
You do have the classic experience of a woman with ADHD — falling through the cracks, being told you’re too “high functioning,” and being diagnosed with depression.
Depression can be caused by undiagnosed ADHD, or it can be its own stand-alone condition:
ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism