Wow…everyone. On this cold winter’s night I just want to give ALL OF YOU a tremendous group hug! Words cannot express how moved I have been by your responses, truly.
I cannot tell you how many tears I’ve shed, how many times I’ve wrung my hands in misery and upset at the universe for not seeing my son as the amazing boy that he is! For not seeing PAST the impulses or the frustration outbursts. How many times I have felt like a failure as a mother and that I am ruining his life. How alone I have felt in raising my son and living through the experiences we have had.
To hear all of your feedback, support, experiences…if I had known about this site years ago, if we had a diagnosis years ago…I would not have felt so alone. But I am here now and I am so very grateful for your thoughts and words.
I realize that, as we finish up winter break, my son is HAPPY here with us. And of course I want to rage when I hear he has been made unhappy, what parent does not? I try my best to fill his life with experiences and fuel his interests. My son is really into Cub Scouts and has been for years. This has been our biggest outlet!
For those that asked about the outcome of my son starting Vyvanse last spring. This medication has proven VERY helpful for controlling impulses, focusing, etc. in the beginning, one 20mg capsule was too much for him and he had severe appetite/weight loss, stomachaches and was overall miserable on the medication. At the start of this school year, an adjustment to the dose- one 10mg capsule 2x per day (once in the morning after breakfast, one after lunch before recess,) things have been EXCELLENT.
For those that asked about why we decided on medication holidays- again tying back to the side effects that he experienced when he first was taking Vyvanse, both us and my son’s psychiatrist decided that this was a great move. My son was in agreement! Additionally, over the summer and on breaks, without having to be restrained to a classroom setting, the frustrations and outbursts are MUCH LESS LIKELY to happen. Since I am used to my son being “high octane,” it was nice to let him be himself over the summer and all of us knowing that he would take his medication when we had an event where we needed him to focus. He tried many new summer camps and events and I was pleased to see him do very well without the medication, but we knew that in school Vyvanse would be the boost he needed.
I wish you all the best in your individual journeys, be it with your own children or yourselves. This arm of parenting takes a certain level of resilience and I think we have what it takes to boost our children up.
God bless and happy new year!