Reply To: Mom's with ADHD-Who else feels like a failure??

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#71723
HelenVil
Participant

I read your post and shivers ran down my spine because it felt as though someone was writing my life story. I am 43, have ADD, married to an IT executive, two kids exactly the same age as yours and I face all the same challenges. To make matters worse I am a therapist and despite all my skills I can’t organize a successful practice because I am too busy – my days seem to speed by with lots to do an little acccomplished. My kids are at two seperate schools with two different start and end times in two different parts of the city. my older daughter (11)has ADD, ASD and ODD, and my sweet 7 year old boy is neurotypical but needs help with speech, writing etc. To make matters worse I am a therapist myself and yet I can’t organize a day, find it hard to write my notes and apply the principles I teach clients to myself. Like you I was very creative when I was younger. I feel my early depressions robbed me of my creativity. Other than cooking, designing my joke and therapy I am not very creative. I come screeching to a halt at the end of every day? My hair and make up always messy no matter how hard I try, my kitchen plates need cleaning twice because I always leave dirty spots and since we can’t afford a housekeeper and I feel guilty for not working full time (or even part time really) I feel that I have to clean my house, cook every morning and night etc etc etc…
Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone. A high school friend reminded me that I was such a big deal in highschool and I joked that I peaked in highschool. I felt sad and yet reconciled at the same time. I am slowly learning to accept “this is me” while still struggling much like you. I think the hardest part is knowing we have so much potential but fearing we no longer have that much potential. A scary duality. But I do believe acceptance is going to be the gateway to my sanity. The more we struggle and fight it the worse we feel-like getting trapped in a spiders web. Just know you are not alone.