Tickets/Points always has felt like bribery to me – Maybe as a result of my not being comfortable with the process it never worked for my son either.
What helped A LOT (note – nothing is 100%) was “time in”. This helped not only my son but it helped my husband and I establish a more positive approach after just being plain worn out to the point of feeling resentful.
“Time In” is setting aside 10 minutes a couple of times a day (more time if you have time) to play with your child. His choice of activity (LIKE IT OR NOT!!!), no phone/ipad/computer for parent or child, no parental instruction, no conditions (i.e. we’ll do this IF you do that); set a timer. If a fit is thrown or rudeness occurs during that time then you can give a warning that you will postpone your time-in for another time when he/she can speak nicely/play fairly (or whatever).
Options my son chose were: playing catch, playing a game (we even willingly played the ones we hate!), puzzle, walk, trampoline, legos etc.
There is no “Earning”the time in. He just gets it.
We couldn’t say no to the activity
No TV/Movie watching. It must be actively engaging.
My son started knowing when to ASK for positive attention rather than doing things that caused negative attention. We started having FUN again with our son and appreciating him more.