Reply To: Spouse is Sick of the daily grind how do I help?

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Spouses & Loved Ones Spouse is Sick of the daily grind how do I help? Reply To: Spouse is Sick of the daily grind how do I help?


This is a tough situation…and stressful for the whole family I am sure!

Idk if your husband would be open to this or be able to handle both, but perhaps looking into working on getting another degree or a degree may boost his morale. Yes, work may be a pain in his butt, but he would have this outlet that could point him in the direction of better work opportunities once he graduates and give him a confidence builder.

University is NOT for everyone and can be an undertaking when you are working full time. Whether he has been to university or not, it can be a different ballgame as a non-traditional student (been there, done that) so I do not recommend this route full time if you are already in financial straits!

However, I do focus on taking classes at the local tech school. A class at a time is not too expensive, he can still work full time and pick through his course options and programs over time. Plus there are a TON of resources available on university and tech school campsuses for those with learning disabilities, so he would not have to go it alone.

Unless you think he may blow up at the suggestion, it is worth mentioning. It could curtail the boredom, too. A drawback to school is (like everything in life) it can make you feel like a failure. He would have to be ready to take a few “thumps” when grades dip or a course goes south. However it can feel empowering as an adult in the “daily grind” to succeed in school after you have passed traditional college age and feel like your work life has become boring as hell. These days everyone is going back to school, so there is certainly company in similar circumstances.

School for my husband has been a point of contention for he and I. He has never taken traditional college courses at the tech or university. He has lived his life with untreated ADHD and dyslexia and school was a nightmare for him that he is reluctant to relive. He works his tail off and is great at his job, but he too is boxed in to a certain income cap and set of responsibilities and his talents would be of better use elsewhere. He knows that getting some sort of degree will help him break through the ceiling career wise and boost his resume but has no idea what to go to school for, worried about his performance, etc. He tends to be his own worst enemy in this regard.

I have tried to support and guide him, but he has to do it when he is ready. It is frustrating for me since I see how hard he works and how underpaid and underchallenged he is in his current role. I finished my degree for the same reason in my old jobs (although it almost freakin’ killed me.) But, I can only put so much energy toward this. Instead it leaves me taking on more demanding but higher paying roles to make up for the income gap.

Good luck!

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by TaurusMoon.
  • This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by TaurusMoon.