Hi there! I saw your post and wanted to reach out. I grew up in a very similar situation to you except I wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD until college. I would love to be able to tell you that I remember feeling the exact same way as you until it was magically fixed by the right combination of meds/moving out of my childhood home/finding the perfect time management app. In all honesty, I’m feeling the same feelings you are now, only about a different set of circumstances. I think that the best advice I can give you is that these feelings-being overwhelmed and feeling inadequate and wanting all the things you hate about yourself to just go away-are feelings that can follow you through life, and if you let them have power over you, they can control your life. There are a lot of things that frustrate me about having ADHD, but there are also things about ADHD that make me (and you) special and worthwhile and different in a good way.
That being said, Adjusting to high school, learning to cope with family members that suck, and learning to thrive with a unique set of challenges are all pretty big deal issues (if I were being annoyingly optimistic I’d call them opportunities). I know you can do this all on your own, but you don’t have to. Find an adult you trust. Maybe it is a teacher, guidance counselor, or therapist. They can help you.
You matter. You are smart and capable and different. You deserve to be happy and healthy and loved for who you are. You can do this. You are not broken.