I really feel for you – it’s taken me hours to reply to this because I keep getting distracted by the dog/a desperate need to research bitcoin/going into rooms forgetting what my purpose was 😂
Your early life….at school etc…mirrors mine completely; I did surprisingly well considering I skived almost everything and crammed revision 2 days before my exams. It was never noticed by teacher, or myself, even, that I might have adhd because the inattentive type is so often overshadowed by the hyperactive type. I can understand why – someone who seems a bit dopey but isn’t failing isn’t as much of a concern when compared to hyperactive adhd kids who are flunking everything and can’t bear to sit still without an anger outburst every half hour. Inattentive adhd has only really been taken seriously in the UK in the last 5 years or so (not sure where you’re living – America is usually 15 years ahead of the UK in health and medication, so could be different for you).
One thing I will say….and I know a few people who successfully manage their symptoms without medication, so it’s very much individual choice….is that stimulant medication, the primary drug used to treat adhd, works on the impulse control and concentration receptors in the brain, so I’ve never heard of it having the negative creativity/personality dulling side effects you’re talking about. I get the lazy and unmotivated thing, too…you know when you feel like you’re in limbo between being awake and asleep?…and it immediately fixed that. The good thing about it is that it’s an instant medication, so you can try it once and it you hate it, you can stop immediately with no concern about withdrawal etc.
I’d suggest you asked your doctor to be referred to a psychiatrist or someone experience in mental health – GPs (here at least) haven’t quite caught up with mental health yet, so specialists have been and still are invaluable to me.
Lots of luck to you my friend. Also, you’re English is PERFECT – I hear that it’s the hardest language to learn, so props to you!