Reply To: I wish I could be fixed.


Still Plays,

In regards to your statement “And don’t get me started on all the posts I’ve read on here about relationships. Once again, if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that, long story short, if you have ADHD, your social life is screwed,” please know that people come on here to vent, so don’t read too much into those posts. I have been with my husband who has ADHD for 26 years and still love him, ADHD and all. No relationship will ever be perfect, and ADHD can add some challenges, but don’t read those posts and project a future of relationship failure for yourself. You are 13 or 14, yes? You have many relationships ahead of you AND, more importantly, you are aware of your ADHD, and can therefore empower yourself with knowledge on how to address your challenges. There are many terrific articles on this site to help you do just that, not to mention all the books out there about ADHD and friendships/relationships.

It sounds like you’re in a tough situation with your Dad. What I’m hearing from you is just a feeling of hopelessness and being overwhelmed. You said “I look around and see so many other people with ADHD, yet none of them are struggling as much as I.” I can tell you that they are (my 14 year old son for example is having a terrible year), but they may have a better support network in place. Unfortunately, we can’t choose our parents, but we can choose people to place in our support network. You’re kind of doing that here by talking with others affected by ADHD. You also mentioned a cousin who is a close friend. Maybe your therapist could be part of that network, and if you don’t feel a rapport with that person, ask to see someone else. If nothing else, your Dad won’t want to pay for someone if they’re not really helping you. You didn’t mention your Mom, but is she more supportive than your Dad? And speaking of your Dad, any chance that he has ADHD too? Tends to run in families. Could that explain some of the difficulty he is having with dealing with your diagnosis? It is hard to see your child struggle as you did. My husband is much less understanding of our son than I am, and tends to get more easily frustrated with him (because HE has low frustration tolerance as a result of ADHD)

At any rate, I hope you can add some people to your support network, really be intentional about it. Maybe some more people could be teachers at school that you get along well with, a school guidance counselor, others who read and appreciate your fan fiction. Honestly, you sound like an amazing and like-able young person to me, and I do not think you need to be fixed. I wish my son was nearly half as articulate as you are! You will find your niche in life. One thing I have learned is that grit, determination, and persistence will get you where you want to go. You just have to keep going and not give up.