Reply To: Dating someone with ADHD with children who have ADHD

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#70503
Shell
Participant

THANK YOU so much for some input, ADHDmomma and Penny!

Yes, both of my boyfriend’s sons are on medication for their ADHD/OCD and autism.

I think the other component I was struggling with is my boyfriend’s ADHD and how he approaches his parenting with his children. It is quite militant…I actually thought he came from a military family when I first met him. He explained to me that he needs to be that way to “shut down” his child so it does not escalate…plus he said his ADHD makes him respond in that manner. But even for something as simple as sitting on the sofa when his son has his heels on the cushion, he just barks “Son, feet off the sofa” or if he is stretched out on the sofa on a Saturday morning, a simple and direct “Get up”!In my mind I feel it is so disrespectful speaking this way…his boys take the same tone with their adopted sister who does not have ADHD. Even to the extent of telling her to shut up.

SO, I’m just the girlfriend, and I feel as if I am being very judgmental on the few occasions we has a discussion around how he responds to his kids…he does tell me he welcomes my input…and I always ask if I may give my opinion on something…I know parenting is very personal and we each do the best we can with what we know. However, I don’t want my son (he does not have DHD) to learn this type of response or be in this type of environment of hearing orders spouted frequently throughout the day…is this a normal type of parenting from a parent with ADHD?