Reply To: To the ADHD Partner: When you need to be liked

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Spouses & Loved Ones To the ADHD Partner: When you need to be liked Reply To: To the ADHD Partner: When you need to be liked

#70455
askfroxy
Participant

I almost cried reading this post–it so mirrors the dynamics in my marriage, which after nearly a decade, I sadly had to end as I felt my mental and physical health were seriously at risk from being the 24/7 “rock” and by that time, we had a young daughter (who now exhibits these same ADD symptoms) who was also being neglected. yes, there was extreme frustration and i resorted to nagging which made things worse, but even when requests were calm and collected, no positive results ever came about. At the time, there were promises of next time and “my bad” etc in the best of times, but mostly denial of any issues, and even projection onto me of the very things I was attempting to address in his behavior. I begged for therapy, counseling, even going to church, but to no avail.

I always felt if Jesus were at the center of our relationship, we could have made it work, or would have had a way better chance. It would have never been perfect, but there was still love there. I gave my life to Christ, but my husband had no interest whatsoever, even to save our marriage. He was relying on his own understanding, which was limited to what he needed to believe to protect his sensitive ego. Even after years apart, we still have love for each other, but it has taken all this time for me to recover emotionally (and financially) from the brink of complete destruction. I have witnessed miracles when God is given first place in relationships. If you have God in your life and can share worship and prayer together, you would have a much better chance of making it work, as our human abilities are frail and our personal reserves dry up. God can fill you and lift you up even in the toughest times. May God guide you and bless your marriage.