When I said, “Sometimes you have to let your child make his own decisions & sometimes if a child has an aversion to something, there may be a good reason for it even if it seems illogical to a neurotypical parent,” I was talking in terms of smaller things like driving, swimming, playing a sport, etc… I wasn’t talking about avoiding school altogether.
What reasons does your son give for his refusal? Could he be depressed? Maybe there’s more going on with him than he’s letting on. I think some parents are overlooking the possible depression component. Telling someone (ADHD or not) who is depressed to snap out of it and come to his senses doesn’t work. It’s hard to think straight or think about the future when you’re depressed.
Has your son dropped out or does he still go to school but is failing? What would he rather be doing instead? Do you know what some of his interests or passions are? Would he be interested in going to a trade school instead? Who knows…He could be a late-bloomer like a lot of people with ADHD. He could come around in a year or 2, get his GED, start college & do well because that’s when HE feels mentally ready for it. Like Stachj said earlier about non-traditional paths, he may be wanting to operate on his own timeline rather than yours. The more you push him to confirm to YOUR timeline, the more he pushes back leading to frustration on both sides.