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I hate that you’re having to deal with this and that I don’t have any great answer for you…. I can only tell you that you’re not alone…and her spiteful ignorance isn’t your fault.
In my experience I think it’s just best to distance yourself from these kinds of people. That’s not to say sever all ties – some of my family are horrid when it comes to my adhd but I’m obviously very attached to them…. I just know now that I can’t count on them for support or let them affect my emotions too much. I’m mid 20s, too, and since being diagnosed have subconciously made closer friendships with people who accept me for who I am/have similar quirks. These people are probably already in your life, so my (rubbish?) advice would be to find them and lesson your emotional leanings on the people who aren’t capable of empathy…there’s no point trying to change your roommate beyond a certain point – if she’s not willing to try and understand, you’re talking to a brick wall and putting yourself through great upset in the process!