Hello my fellow AD/HDer!
It has been one of the toughest years for me as well. Understanding more about the “gift” helps but its not something you can physically/mentally do on your own because of the way our brains are wired. I’m 27 now and I’ve probably had 20-30 different jobs lasting no longer than 12-18 months so your not alone.
We are the ancestral hunters of the tribe who can figure out how to catch our food in new/non-traditional yet effective ways. The fact that our senses are more “advanced” than others, says that we are intelligent but when it comes time to learn how to do something other than what we are instinctively/emotionally capable of at first, we don’t know how to put the two things together and learn 100 percent of what we are engaged in.
When it comes to a job, we are hired to perform at a higher standard than what the initial standard is. Finding something that you enjoy doing is the key but it’s going to require you to put in at least a third to a half more time than the average guy and that takes a toll on our executive function energy reserves and focus throughout the day. Diet and exercise is a huge key as well but time/money doesn’t always give us the best options. Our lack of time perception and estimation skills also put us in a pickle sometimes too when it comes to deadlines at work or communicating with co-workers.
I know you said that you may not feel like you are destined to work in the field you are in, but im sure you had a different perspective of it between the time you started and before your managers or you made this realization. The same thing has happened to me multiple times. We will always be drawn to the nuances of every day life because of how were wired and it will always take a toll on us until we learn how to tame it.
I started taking medication 2-3 years ago and im still tweaking the dosage to work for me but its expensive and its a pain in the ass to get used to. If you don’t have very good habits or and solid understanding of ad/hd effects your brain and body chemistry, the meds will help to get the learning done but everything else will suffer.
I just currently enrolled in college for Computer Science and I believe it will be where I’m supposed to be but it won’t be an easy journey. Find out what makes you tick and puts you into what they call “hyper-focus”. Something that makes time fly by.
Don’t get discouraged because it’s out of your control. Talk to your employers and see if they can work with you and your ad/hd. They may realize that you can help them out a different way.
shoot me an email if you ever wanna chat!