Reply To: No Passion No Energy No Care

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It’s great to hear that my husband’s son is not the only person behaving this way. He is 19 and left high school without finishing. I’m very happy that he is going regularly to the gym and he now has a job carrying heavy things, which is an area where he feels confident. He has no driver’s license. He also has dyslexia and maybe LD (hasn’t been investigated). His ADD has not been diagnosed either because we didn’t understand until he was over 18 and he doesn’t want to see a doctor now.

What makes me tired is that he is so lacking in trust. He believes that he is being taken advantage of when I ask him to take out the garbage. He obviously doesn’t understand all the amount of work that I do at home, as well as my full time job, so he thinks that he is doing more than anyone else. He won’t answer questions about how work is, just one word answers like “heavy”. He turns his back to us when he is in the kitchen and then retreats back into his room, he eats most of his meals there (with everything lying on the floor). He never smiles and avoids eye contact and no talking. On his days off he sleeps and plays on his computer and then one hour in the gym. I don’t have ADHD but his father does, though not so bad. His father is working a lot and traveling a lot which leaves me on my own with his son. I try to understand but his way of behaving is so different from me and every other person I have ever known.

Since things can obviously change for the better, I read about the husband doctor above, can anyone please write and tell about boys with ADD and what might happen in the years 20 to 30? I hope that having a job will help build his self esteem, which is obviously low right now. I hope that he will become a responsible citizen but I guess it will take time. I just get so impacted by his gloomy mood and even try to get away from home from time to time. At the same time I really want to help, but he won’t accept that in any way.