You all are describing my 15 year old son too! Adam has been diagnosed with ADD since Kindergarten. We had him on Focalin XR until Middle School and then he said he doesn’t like how he feels on it. So we tried with our Peds blessing to go without anything. He seemed much better, until he started High school. He wasn’t in any of the same classes as his friends and my boy is extremely introverted. Like all of your teens, I too struggle, but it’s even more difficult because I am the one with ADD (yup, diagnosed when Adam was) and I am an extrovert. My husband and I are both IT geeks, so both of us spend a lot of time on the computer and we both work (well me off and on) so when he started middle school in a different building he got my old cell phone. Well, fast forward to 9th grade and the kid will not put the phone down. Addicted to youtube..etc. *sigh* I can put restrictions on his phone but then he starts freaking out and saying he can’t live, he wants to kill himself…I took these extremely serious, had him in a peds behavioral ward for a week (no phone, he survived!) but we also got him back on ADD/Anxiety meds. He’s on Concerta and Lexapro (I take Lexapro too) and he was doing good back at school at first but then they piled on what he missed on top of what they were learning. And he looked at it like he would never get it all done, it will take 40 million years so why bother, I m just going to fail. He did not fail, I had gotten a tutor and he barely passed the 9th grade with 1 A (in world history) C’s and 2 d’s – Math and lit. I told Adam that the D’s were good with me and your dad because I know you did better on the last few tests. Adam loves to read what he wants and not what the school wants…but he does read the books or tries and does pretty well on the tests covering details of the book he just doesn’t want to write. He is his worst critic, always saying “I’m so stupid’ and I am like crying cause this is that baby I held and fell in love with and promised the world too. I usually get “screamed at” worse when I nag him, but he and I have a good relationship. I’ve taken him and his sister to breakfast and I’ll give him ground rules, No phone, we are going to actually talk and have conversations. Plus he loves the outdoors, when the weather is warm we go hiking in our metro parks, sometimes I can not get him back in the car!
Anyhow, this year Adams is doing fantastic in World History, Biology, and Health…oye but Lit, math, and Gym he’s failing(I too failed my first quarter in gym, so I ended up taking summer gym in the summer my jr and sr year, I do not blame the kid). I am half tempted to let him fail, but feel guilty too. He had his appendix out the end of October so again he missed school and is still not caught up. Then yesterday, I get a text message while I’m at work (husband is out of town for the week) that he can’t take it anymore, it’s too much, he wants to kill himself…needless to say we are headed to his therapist in a few minutes. Adam has a therapist and a psychiatrists …I can not stress it enough that if you have no therapist or a psychiatrists to get one that specializes in Peds ADD, ASAP or usually the school guidance counselors can help.
Anyhow, I hate to say it but I am glad I am not alone!