I don’t think I’m as experienced as you with the chaos that is adhd so this may well be…b.s…but I’m going to put my 2 cents in!
How you sound right now is very much how I was before medication. I’m not trying to preach that medication is the answer – good on you for finding another way to cope! – but I think medication has changed drastically in the last 10 years (it seems like it was a while ago you came off of yours). My older brother was medicated to the point of appearing to be a cast member of Walking Dead, but it hasn’t been the same for me, being that much younger; I just felt like the constant hamster wheel in my head had shut up for the first time since I could remember. I reckon that maybe meds might be worth revisiting because they’re less…horrific…nowadays. I hope that hasn’t p***ed you off – it’s just my opinion, and it reminded me of my brother’s crap experiences with meds.
Your son… I’m a teacher, and I feel so, so sorry for my adhd kids. 90% of staff at my school don’t believe adhd exists, so I can only imagine what a sh*t time you’re having. It sounds like your son is in high school (?) – is there a certain teacher that seems to get him or that he produces good work for? If so, push for a meeting with them. It’s so much easier once you have someone in the system on your side. If not – try to arrange a meeting in which you and your son can have your voices heard on your terms (i.e. not because he’s in trouble). I live in England, so am not sure how it works of you’re from over the pond, but often having a doctor present at these meetings is incredibly helpful. In my experience, lots of teachers will try to brush off parents’ concerns (not always with neglect – it’s so d*mn stressful and there just isn’t the budget to give children the support they deserve), so if you can get a medical professional to push your cause with their authority, it’s invaluable. It’s the only way I’ve managed to get my kids the support they deserve and protect them from ridiculous suspensions from behaviour that could have – should have – been prevented. Anyway, off track..
Lots of luck to you, mate 🙂