My heart goes out to you. We have definitely dealt with our own sleep challenges when it comes to our son. We still are!
These are things we have tried since my son was little. You may have tried some/all or may not have the option/s, but this has been our experience.
Taking a quick walk after dinner. This is easier said than done, as evenings are busy. We also live in a cold climate, so we really have to push ourselves, but when we pull it off, the fresh night air before bed works wonders for the following.
Writing out and posting the “bedtime routine.” Structure is huge for my son. Even before he could read, we would read over it with him so he knew what to expect.
7:00 Tech turns off
7:15 Bath time
No tech an hour before bed- including our tech. We are a small family with an only child, so getting everyone on board to have tv’s off, etc.
In this no tech hour before bed:
Dimming or turning out some of the lights, turning on chill music.
Lavender essential oil! I would sprinkle a few drops on a cotton ball or pad and place it under his pillow or stick one with tape on his pajamas. I would add it to unscented lotion for after bath, too.
Bath time was always helpful. Baths were more calming than showers for my son.
Read or play quietly after bath, have a light snack before brushing teeth.
I would lay next to my son and read in the 10 minutes before lights out. Prepare to fall asleep yourself. Lol
Lights our exactly at 8 (or bedtime.)
Twilight turtle! This was a toy made by Cloud B and idk if it is still around. It makes awesome lighted star patterns on the walls and has three colors to choose from.
We have considered purchasing a weighted blanket but they are expensive. I did not even know about them until recently, but have always noticed that my son loves a lot of blankets piled on him; what we now recognize as more weight.
What we have done as a cost saving measure is found “Bear.” A huge bear from Costco that my son likes to have lay on him when he is falling asleep. Keep in mind that he is 10 now and can easily move this animal off of himself!
Basically as chill an evening as you can manage, even if you can only maintain it in your child’s room has helped us.