Nobody likes being told what to do, and spouse with ADHD often feel like that’s the dynamic when one partner takes on the role of planner and organizer.
Try having a family meeting to establish responsibilities and a schedule/routine. Start by listing all the tasks that need to be done in the home. Then, ask him which tasks he is willing to take on and which he is most qualified to handle. Then you do the same. After that, try to create a routine for these tasks. For instance, every Saturday at 10 am laundry is done. Every Tuesday after dinner the kitchen gets wiped down. Every other day he spends 30 minutes purging… etc.
The way you communicate is important to your relationship:
ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism