I don’t have the outbursts, but the fatigue is definitely something I experience. Like liasamturn says, it feels like a hangover; it takes so much energy to stay engaged during the day (i.e. At work) that when I get home I’m often ‘useless’. I, too, am great in a crisis or movements of high stimulation – but keeping track of the mail piling up daily on the kitchen table goes right by me!
Rather than lash out, I shut down and completely disengage. It’s an old coping skill learned from childhood. For us that’s worse, because it makes my wife feel like I’m disregarding her (when I’m really beating myself up internally). I think liasamturn is also right in that it’s different for everyone – I’ve learned that ADD is so nuanced in each person, as well as in relationships.
You two seem committed to one another, and to your son. I think that same foundation kept us together. Take good care of yourself (VERY important), and each other…