I FEEEEEEEEL YOU! I generally feel so alone with this general feeling of overwhelm. My favorite day is Monday, because I’ve been unemployed for 5 years, or the reluctant SAHM, I get the house back to myself on Monday. I dread the weekend and long holidays. Here in GA they only get a 2 month summer and lots of 1-2 week breaks all year! The break throughs my daughter off, who has anxiety, OCD and if I have ADHD she probably has it. She likes being hoe from school but the change in routine makes her bored and cranky at the same time! She doesn’t play with toys and likes direct one on one attention for 18 hours a day. LOL. I hide in my closet, or bathroom or go outside. I’m considering building my own tiny house and calling it “Mommy’s Time-Out”. When I’m PMSing I have this overwhelming desire to get in my car and drive until I reach the wilderness, there I will live in solitude and survive off the land. I dream of hiking the AT for 6 months, or at the very least running an Ultra 100 mile though the wilderness. I long for the quiet and solitude of nature. I just recently was able to run more than 30 seconds and built up to 30 minutes. Running brought me the solitude and peace I craved. Then I sprained my f*&%@# knee! Why God, why?! We live in a small 1000sqft home, when we are all home the cacophony of my husbands guitar ramblings, and my daughters annoying YouTube videos has me wanting to run out of the house screaming. This gives me insights into my own mother’s crankyness, and her mother, and her mother. We have generational ADHD, I can trace it back. I think my husband has it too, but the inattentive type. He forgets/misplaces stuff and has lots of accidents. I have the driven by a motor type. My husband also has OCD which I think was so prominent that they over looked the ADHD. But hey, Howie Mandel has both.
I cope with prayer, and music, whine is great too, if you don’t have any addiction issues. Like Whine BEFORE dinner, on an empty stomach, lol. It’s just we are trying to fit into an unnatural “perfect” world, it doesn’t work for us, we are NOT linear! My mom never got on me for my grades, she knew I was smart and school is just a fucked up institution. My dad on the other hand, felt it reflected poorly and must of had issues with how he felt about himself. He would punish me. Stand by your kid, make sure he gets what he needs to be able to navigate this messed up world, and build up his confidence so he will be able to strike out on his own. If school isn’t his jam, as it’s only s good fit for like 5% of the population, encourage creative out of the box thinking. Remind him, and yourself that he can do anything he can put his mind to. Don’t base your self image or intelligence on that report card. Find your strengths and passions and do the hell out of them! We ADHD people can be so high energy and passionate once our skills and interests find a good match. It’s called Flow Psychology.
Don’t bow down to this world and it’s slim pickings! I’ve only just recently made peace with my lack of higher education. I had to separate it from my self image. I feel so free now. God Bless you. You’re not alone, email me if you ever want to talk or vent!