Reply To: Engaged and on the verge of a breakdown

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Allygee – I’m the ADD (inattentive) husband; teacher married to a clinical social worker. Even with a diagnosis and medication (15yrs ago), I felt I could ‘handle’ this ADD thing without therapy. I’m sure you can guess where this is goes from here. Well, the last 2-4 years almost cost me my marriage (now approaching 25 years; 2 kids – 19 yo son & 16 yo daughter). It wasn’t easy to acknowledge – lots of shame and guilt on my part. I’ve got a great therapist now, and things are moving slowly in the right direction. Like you seem to be, I’m lucky for a loving and resilient wife – though I certainly pushed even her limits. I’m just grateful I came to this realization and took ownership of it when I did.

I want to root for your fianc√©, but you have to do what you must to take care of yourself. He has to take ownership of himself and the ADD if he wants this to work; I hope he does as you seem remarkable! We were talking separation, but I’ve put some tough work in. I’m just grateful I wasn’t too late (a possible first for my ADD life!) and that my wife loves me enough to stay. I’m really wishing the best for both of you here. Be good to yourself – I’ll check back on the forum…