We have a strong rule in our house: if you don’t go to school/college then you need to get out of the house, get a job and pay your own way, however, as long as you attend school and are passing you can stay home and we’ll support you.
My son is only 16 and in his junior year. He’s struggled at times just barely passing but these adhd kids are smart. They think differently and are creative. My son hates school too. He says it’s stupid. His grades suffer in the classes he doesn’t have interest in, however, I’ve stayed on top of things as best I can: I see his grades slip to a danger level, I get extra help for him. If I see he doesn’t study for an exam we have a rule for that too; you don’t get a certain grade then no video games for you for the weekend. My son is totally obsessed with video games. He can spend 15 hours a day playing them during the summer if we don’t limit him. But his obsession is what’s driving him to want to graduate and go to college because he wants to do game development as a career. He’s shown a natural talent in his game dev class at school that I believe the amount he’s played has given him insight as to how a game should run and what make a game visually appealing. perhaps your son needs to do something game related? If he does something he’s passionate about then he’ll hone in on those magic adhd powers and succeed. What does his guidance counselor say? Personally I think you need to do some tough love. And I don’t believe in lazy. A lot of times fear is confused with lazy. A fear of failing so you don’t try. A fear of being out in society so you just stay in your room. The world of video games gives these, sometimes socially awkward, kids a safe place to escape to.
What about a technical school?