Reply To: Engaged and on the verge of a breakdown

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#68355
anomalocaris
Participant

I would definitely reconsider the wedding. When anyone says, “I’m about to be married and I’m miserable in the relationship,” it seems clear to me that the two concepts are (or ought to be) mutually exclusive. Making a contract to spend the rest of your life with a man who makes you miserable is not fair to either of you. Once you’re legally married it’s harder — and often quite expensive — to walk away. And, if he loved you enough to make a marriage work, he wouldn’t be treating you the way he is. I have ADD, and no access to treatment, but I don’t go around treating people the way he treats you, because ADD doesn’t mean you’re of less than normal intelligence. He’s an adult, presumably of normal intelligence, which means he’s fully capable of understanding that it’s wrong to treat you that way, but he’s choosing not to be bothered worrying about your feelings. That’s on him… ADD is no excuse, and if he were interested in changing, he’d have taken steps before now.