I went through the same inward search for reasons for my son’s ADHD. There were many potential causes (I begged my doc to induce a week early due to how crappy I felt, I was on pitocin a long time, they lost his heartbeat during birth, he had persistent 105 degree fevers his pediatrician didn’t treat for a month, despite my repeated pleading and many tests), etc. Could one of those have been the cause? Maybe, but it’s more likely that he inherited it genetically from his undiagnosed dad.
A few years into this journey, I decided to work on stopping this unproductive and damaging train of thought. It took a lot of mindfulness, but I rarely think about the cause anymore. I accepted ADHD (and the rest of my son’s alphabet soup of diagnoses) as part of who he is, and I accepted that it’s here to stay. It was actually very freeing.
You’re certainly not alone!
ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism