I’m with you on this – I didn’t get diagnosed until later in life and it explains a lot about my relationships.
Remember that for people with ADHD, our emotions are very near the surface and are often the first things we notice. Ritalin has helped me a lot with this. It not only slows down my scattered thinking but also my emotions.
If this isn’t your experience, you need to teach yourself to take things slowly:
1) feelings are just feelings – they’re not facts. The fact you feel that this person is amazing, wonderful and the answer to everything doesn’t make it true. It’s just how you feel.
2) Focus instead on what they say, how they treat your and others and how considerate and repsonsible they are. That’s much more important to start with.
3) We’re good at bouncing back and being forgiving. Don’t do that at the beginning of a relationship – take time to notice things that hurt you and discuss them. This will save a lot of heartache later on when you’ve been to afraid to challenge things and you later have to end it. Again.
4) Keep a reign on your splurging / positive talk. It can be scary for the other person because it sounds too much too soon, and it is. Remind yourself to let the other person do more talking so you can get to know them before you throw your heart at them. If necessary, find a not too noticeable way to put a finger on your lips/hand over your mouth to remind you! Don’t give too much of yourself away – stay in control of yourself and your emotions and take it slow. You won’t lose anything if it’s worth having.