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#67107
Brookey80
Participant

Hi Jake90Lee your post caught my attention because I too have experienced this for years. =/
BUT! (Very gratefully) I am on the other side of this. So I am glad to get2 *share! what I figured out after much much sadness, confusion, depressed from it (understandably!..) But then I decided to start researching: what I have always gone thru /what is this that always keeps happening?… =(

So I found a few big answers!!… (Hope you get2 read this!) =]
First thing I found (by typing-in /describing this)
Is: study up on the Attachment theory. Relational Attachment. There’s I think 4? different kinds and what I learned is mine (because of life, and from subtle traumas; looking back when I was little -that effected me in this way it turns out) All these years my ‘attachment’ style has been the insecure attachment style. When I read up on that— now it all makes sense. What we want to live out is the Secure attachment style. So at this point in our lives: (now that we are learning all this) now we can have compassion on ourselves and *practice this new way we (unfortunately, but not our fault)) we didn’t grow up learning that best, Healthy way. /the way it *should be. But now we can take-on the New +improved way of relating. That will line us up with how we’ve always Wanted it to be… =]

Also I started learning about CEN: Childhood Emotional Neglect. very helpfull in understanding (why)

Then research /watch some short YouTube videos on Law of Attraction —only think about what you Want.
(not what we’ve always gotten =[ which is what we Don’t want) ..in this case I have had2 Fight to only think about what I Want. But by being aware of your Thoughts, and practice —it’s just a matter of time. =]

+last gem of insight I’m passing on (after years of going thru this too. it’s not right, and not ok) but Finally! +just recently, starting to understand and change this ~from now on!!

Once you get that insight, & compassionate understanding for you on (why) *Then you’re coming from a more Healthy, just naturally balanced, =D more *secure attachment style. +Believe this to be SO!

+then =D (the one that is even worthy of you) —THEY WILL WANT YOU RIGHT BACK! It won’t be lop-sided ever again! (Hah; but remember don’t give your thought energy thinking about the old lop-sided way) =] Only the way of ~how wonderfull it will be~* how wonderfull IT IS the Love and understanding support is totaly reciprocal ^ ^ and it’s healthy, here to stay… =]

Love & Happiness… Mmhm =]

  • This reply was modified 3 years ago by Brookey80.