I’ve been a high school teacher 23 years – diagnosed with severe ADD 15 years ago (@ 35yo). While I continue to have periods of struggle in most life areas, I find the struggle worth because I’ve found the thing I love to do. I still get tired, distracted, lost in conversation (even in class!), etc.p; but I’ve learned over time to ride those waves. It’s hard, still sucks (I should be able to do this thing better after 23 #%£€ing years!), I get physically/emotionally overwhelmed; therapy/meds help. But the thing that keeps me going is this is the only thing I want to do, along with a spouse/family who seem willing to struggle with me/support me (even when I don’t feel like I deserve that support).
I think you’re in that place where you haven’t found it yet. It’s okay to bounce around – you’re still young (to me, anyway!). Find other things to help take care of yourself so that this doesn’t weigh you down more than it needs to. You’ll know when you find – there will be a positive energy. It’s not easy – it took me a long time, lots of negative periods, and a lot of struggle to get to this point. If I can do this (when many times I thought I couldn’t/wouldn’t), so can you!