Reply To: With what time? (Single Dad with ADHD-Inattentive)

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I know from personal experience “Hang in there” and “It’ll get better” aren’t too comforting. I was right where you are. I felt like a failure half the time and when I did feel good about something I accomplished, something always seemed to be around the corner to knock me back down. Few tricks I picked up from my single Mom days:

1. Dinner doesn’t need to be a four course meal. My kids are now a little older and tell me some of their favorite dinners as kids were mac ‘n cheese and hot dogs. Yeah, not healthy, I get it. But it saved my sanity more than a few evenings. Also – make the crock pot your best friend. Cook a roast of some sort in there and eat on that for a few nights. One of those roasted chickens at Wal-Mart/Sam’s/Costco are still a go-to on particularly busy nights.

2. Housework can wait. As long as you’re not living in complete disgustingness – take a few minutes for yourself instead of washing those dishes or folding that laundry.

3. Look at home daycares in your area. You might have to ask around, but many are licensed and insured and are a little more willing to work with you than center based daycares. Their rates are roughly the same too.

4. If you cannot afford the therapies (right there with ya on that one), I’d ask your doctor for resources and tips to use at home. In our area there is a therapy center that works on a sliding scale. I used a center like that for my son. You might do a google search for “sliding scale therapists”. And stick with the 504 or perhaps look at an IEP. Some of the therapies my son received were done at school for free.

5. You say you have your son 75% of the time. That other 25%, spend on you. Take at least a little piece of that to do something completely 100% for you. Even if that’s binge watching a TV show you love that is too grown up to watch when little eyes and ears are present. As for work, most employers are very accommodating when they’re told about the situation and presented with a solution. On weeks I know I’m going to be busy with therapies/appointments/etc. I might come in early or work through my lunch. Email is also a great way to communicate with teachers and school officials – you have a written record and you’re not on the phone.

And finally, take a DEEP DEEP breath. It DOES get better and you’ll look back one day and say “WORTH IT”.