I am a parent of 3 children that are DX w/ ADHD, parent educator for 16 years, and myself suffer w/ ADHD. My children and others I work w/ have ODD as well. I will always swear by praise for positive reinforcement at times you even have to catch positive behaviors (behavior identification- be specific on your praise) in the process. Ignoring anything that is not harmful to themselves, others or property, continuing w/negative consequences consistently and for short periods of times so that there is more opportunity for them to succeed at having the object/ privilege, make sure consequences are set and relate to the behavior-ie take the door they are slamming or make them clean it (won’t clean it then lose it or no privilege until done). CONSISTANCY w/ no mater what you so- I recommended posting a few rules (no hurting others) which include what not to do, (use a positive coping skill identified such as self time out then discuss issue) what to do and the consequences that follow (loss of privilege vs keeping privilege). There attitude that they don’t care is a bluff as far I see it, hang in there w/ your consequences. Also remember kids w/ ADHD are not considering consequences when they exhibit behaviors.Say some thing completely off the wall during a tantrum- I left the cat on the refrigerator at work- This nonsense can reset the brain (I just learned this). You are Mom and if you have concerns about meds, if on meds, then advocate for a change. Meds are trial and error and you never know how a person will react as well as docs don’t either. FORGIVE yourself. Tell yourself everyday that you are amazing which is better than perfect. Try checking out Gray Matter Matters- about the brain and completely different info than anything out there.