I feel your pain-
Every year at this time I would get so overwhelmed and depressed.
I still struggle a bit but this is what helps me.
I say no more. I do it what I have to do plus a bit more for the holidays. I used to overspend and go to every party and family gathering. No more. People used to complain but now they know that I cannot do it.
I make sure I eat balanced meals that are healthy for me without being restrictive, this way I don’t binge on the extras.
I exercise almost daily for at least 30 minutes.
I practice being compassionate and not expecting myself to have a perfect holiday season. I realize most people are stressed too, not just ADHD people. I try to take quiet time to just enjoy the season in ways that feel good to me. I get massages ( massage schools are cheaper) get pedicures.
I use a light therapy box and take warm baths. I use organic essential oils, even just smelling them lifts my spirits.
I pet my dog. It’s our life, we get to choose within reason how to spend our time. Something’s are not negotiable( like taking care of a child when you want a bath) but we can ask for extra help if we need it this time of year. There are solutions. It took me years to get my fall/winter to feel better. Keep trying, it’s worth it.