Reply To: Autumn Anxiety / Depression

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caringdoc2
Participant

Hi guys
Reading what you both had to say was like deja vu. I am a little older than both of you and very rarely speak of my condition but I woke up early thinking of what you both were discussing and found that I was compelled to respond. First of all, you are both lucky, yes that’s’ right lucky. I only found out about ADD in my mid 50’s when I received a letter from my son’s school saying that he may have ADD. That prompted me to research it and I couldn’t believe what I read, it’s like someone was following me around and jotting notes on my life. All the time I thought I was different, stupid, that everything was my fault. Very often felt overwhelmed and hopelessness, if something did not go right it was because of me, I didn’t try hard enough. I was fortunate to have a Mother who kept on encouraging me, saying that I COULD do it. I was also fortunate to have faith in God, for I always felt alone, different and I relied heavily on both of these. I can recall as a teenager I had to work harder than everyone else because I was stupid, I had very low self-esteem and often short temper as I was angry at myself for being so stupid. This is just a little background on me, so you can relate. When I grew up ADD was not known. I was fortunate that I found something that I really loved at an early age, animals, a goal and was able to hyperfocus. Over time I was able to develop certain tricks to handle my inadequacies. Ways to study, to handle problems, frustrations etc. These “tricks” were able to carry through 10 yrs of college and in a profession that I still find stimulating and challenging. I too, thought I had PTSD as I use to wake up in a sweat, thinking that I missed ar wasn’t ready for an exam ( many years after I had graduated). One of my greatest success was learning not to be so hard on myself, now I can laugh at myself, instead of criticizing myself and putting me down. I still screw up, forget where I put something, but now instead of putting myself down, I look up to the sky and say “that was stupid, are you having fun ” My aha moments in life was realizing that I was not stupid. Stopped being, being so hard on myself. Realize this, ADD is a result of chemical imbalance in the brain, you can do something about it, its a matter of finding the correct stimulant that works for you as an individual and that anxiety often goes hand in hand with this which also needs to be treated. The problem is finding the right doctor who cares and the correct support staff. In my fifties, after learning about ADD I was sought help for anxiety and was placed on an antianxiety medication and could not believe the change, a lot of my worries, knots in my stomach, depression, self-doubt greatly decreased and I finally felt what it was like to be “normal”. You just need to remember that you CAN do this and not to give up the ship. I hope this helped a little and that I didn’ wander off your topic
paul