I really relate to Speechie1962. I too am an SLP. I have been unable to meet deadlines & am typically late for work. I have sleep issues and have recently received a diagnosis of PTSD, on top of my depression and other stuff.
I am a caregiver for my 68 year old mother that has mobility problems and other health concerns. I am always exhausted and have back taxes owed & student loans in default. I am in counseling and been seen at the Free Clinic but not taking any stimulants now. I have started back taking Klonipin, for crying spells, but My mom and I can’t make it on her retirement funds alone, while I feel so guilty about not having applied for jobs, I just fear failure again and letting the people I serve down. I am also letting the family down.
My counselor told me I have to practice the beginner’s mind & don’t decide what the future will bring, so, I am working on making myself apply for at least one job today. I think reading & sharing will be helpful since my family doesn’t really know I haven’t been able to apply for jobs yet. I did update my resume & I went a head and put it into Indeed, (but, I have to proof-read it).
I just wrestle with what to ask for, part-time work, more flexible schedule? On top of all those things, I was diagnosed with breast cancer in Dec. and our house is so cluttered, it looks like hoarders live here & since I do most of the chores & errands, I’m spent all the time and emotionally spent. I want to clean – yes even me an Adder, but I am usually too tired.
Maybe the info on the beginner’s mind will help someone else or just knowing that you are not alone in the struggle. 11 jobs, only one ended because I was truly laid off, that the company closed – all the others were due to time management and organizational problems. I will be praying for us all.