Reply To: 9 year old ODD is getting the best of me

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Sounds like my 7 year old son. He doesn’t have any actual diagnoses yet because the therapist has been reluctant to label him but has said he does show signs of ADHD. But ever since he was about 4, he’s been very aggressive including physical aggression. Lately, I swear he’s exhibiting a lot of ODD traits & its out of control. He is very impulsive, angry, irritable, argumentative, he throws tantrums, refuses to follow rules, blames dad & I & tells us we are horrible parents, he has threatened to kill me or says he should die, he screams, yells, & makes constant noise, he has trouble concentrating on the tasks at hand, doesn’t listen when talked to & will rudely interrupt you, has memory issues, very rigid with shifting from one task or place to another. I told the therapist he beats on me & tries to do harm to me whenever hes upset & he’s upset about EVERYTHING! From dad & I making requests of him, to power struggles over food & eating, to losing his belongings & cant find them, to he wants everyone else to do things for him instead of him doing things for himself. Don’t get me started on school & homework. The school has requested multiple meetings because he is being very disruptive. He doesn’t get work done at school so he has homework just about every night in which he adamantly refuses to complete & proceeds to rip it up. They have a behavior rewards system but it means nothing to him & he could care less. His dad & I try to impose consequences & rewards at home but nothing has worked & he starts thinking he gets rewards for every little thing. Unfortunately, he can’t be medicated because he has a rare medical problem. He has been having hypoglycemic episodes since he was 3 & they have gotten worse & worse. Now we are getting ready to have genetic testing because they think he has Glycogen Storage Disease. He’s been a very picky eater after a long struggle with chronic tonsillitis as a toddler & he just doesn’t eat very much but mixed with possible ADHD, he cant tolerate sitting to eat…he’s gotta go play because to him there is never enough time in a day to play or watch movies or video games. They are afraid if they medicate, he really won’t have any appetite & it will further his blood sugar dropping. So I’ve been reading lots of books looking for help & new techniques to deal with the yelling, hitting, refusal to do what he’s suppose to etc.. but so far, I feel pretty helpless! The family therapist has had us doing behavior modification techniques, we’ve gone through about 3 different timeout routines & are trying another called task based grounding which I have very little confidence in. My personal doctors suggested Dr. Ross Greenes The Explosive Child so I got it this week but Im not sure that will do much either. I just am not sure what to do & Im tired of being beat on & Im worried the private school he attends will kick him out. This is super frustrating!!