Reply To: Humour as defense

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I know exactly what you mean about using humor to soften the embarrassment I feel about constantly being late, messy, a procrastinator, etc. And there was always that underlying ache to scream, “This really isn’t funny! I don’t know how to stop being this way!” I’ve been doing the comedy bit for years and my husband recently pointed it out to me and said, “You’re always so self deprecating when you talk about yourself.” He pointed out the fact that whenever he himself calls me out on my messiness, lateness, etc., I tell him, “You know what my issues are and I’m doing the best that I can.” And he patiently continues to accept that, as long as I really am doing my best. He said if I can own my ADD with him, I should be able to own with others. I don’t necessarily have to explain the whole diagnosis to people. I can just offer an apology for my lateness and admit I have some difficulty in that area and that I’m always trying to do better. Period. No comedy needed. So I have been trying that and it really does make me feel better about myself. Of course when I’m seriously flustered, I fall back into making fun of myself, but it’s a work in progress. It hurt my heart to read that you felt you couldn’t get empathy for spraining your ankle, but I understand where you’re coming from. You deserve to be able to get sympathy rather than laughs if you fall and hurt yourself! Good luck to you, toomanytabs!