To the frusterated mom; theres an old saying that sometimes needs to be the cornerstone in our lives as mothers to maintain peace in the home & our own sanity-it is “To pick & choose our own battles”. I myself have ADHD and have 7 children that also have ADHD, quite a few of my kids have ODD as well. If we learn to accept our children where they’re at at that very moment in time it can make a world of difference. Your son might know he has to clean up after himself & might even do his job almost always but if you happen to catch him in a state of mind where he is focused on something else, your reminder can mean major melt down & the world is over..so maybe its ok to do tht chore for him that 1 time or show him the mess later for him to see. Rewards work if they are absolutely in the moment on the fly. Something so insanely simple as a chocolate candy or a mint, a treat that your child likes can make him see the immediate benefits so tht he will clean up when you ask. Its good to have rules & routines but also to know that we might have to make quick adaptations to maintain peace in the home and our own sanity. I wish you all the best.