Oh yes, I recognize this, every detail!
I too diagnosed myself accidentally. Then I took a questionnaire on Adult Women with ADD (that I found online) to my GP.
He did not question my self-assessment, bless him.
Personally, I do not ‘medicate’ very well – if there is a side-effect I will get it. I tried it, it was not for me, sadly – it does seem to help millions of people.
So one is thrown back upon taking personal responsibility, which includes a healthy lifestyle, exercise, breathing exercises and meditation (of a rather ADD sort, you can imagine).
Lately I have been trying CBD oil, and it has allayed a lot of the anxiety that I associate with ADD.
Read a lot and try everything. It is work, there are no miracles.
Also, do not allow yourself to believe the labels – ‘deficit’ and ‘disorder’ must not be on your self-description list! ‘Barmy’ is fine.