Oh my goodness. You’re post was great! I agree that I am 2X as harder on myself to be perfect. But going from a boss who hardly ever even checked in to one who corrects my spelling errors and sends them back to me in an email is awful. The humiliation is disastrous to my self-esteem, even if she isn’t telling any of the other faculty members in the University. And I can’t say that she isn’t complaining about me to others, because she would.
Apparently I have been able to compensate for a very, very long time. Or I just picked up and moved to another job. I have gone from a product manager taking care of The Home Depot and Target, to an admin assistant. And from the assistant to a hospital CEO to the front desk of a medical clinic. When I began to feel like I couldn’t handle the normal tasks of the job, I quit and went to something beneath that position. Repeatedly. Now I know that I could have conquered those tasks and problems with help.
I have always been smart, intuitive and very creative; apparently none of that is worth anything to this supervisor. I would love to say at this University because of the people and benefits, as well as the faculty. But this Dean is telling me that she thinks I can’t handle the work. She tells me that the new incoming Dean “has very smart people who work for him.” Unspoken is she thinks I’m not.
Everybody dreads being compared to an imposter, right? That is the way I feel she sees me.
I love structure, so I definitely will check out the app you mentioned. I do use Google calendar and its reminders!